Lansterdam in Review: Lightning rolls and moon rocks — an otherworldly weed experience

Lume Cannabis Co. opened its doors for adult-use marijuana sales last February — marking the first pot shop to launch in Owosso since recreational weed was legalized in Michigan in 2018.

City ordinances allow up to four dispensaries there. Lume operates nine other shops: Adrian, Big Rapids, Honor, Jackson, Lowell, Mackinaw City, Petersburg, Walled Lake and Alpena.

There are plenty of more local options for premium-grade cannabis that don’t require a drive halfway to Flint, but Lume appears to be the only store within at least 50 miles of Lansing to sell moon rocks — bud dipped in hash rosin and then rolled in kief. And they were well worth the trip. 

Lume — Lume Rocks

Price — $55

THC content — 54.4%

Lume Rocks are Lume’s version of moon rocks, which have earned a spot in stoner history as one of the most potent cannabis concoctions ever to be assembled. Premium flower coated in house-made solventless hash rosin, then blanketed in a layer of house-blended kief — a combination that is almost guaranteed to send even veteran pot smokers into a mild coma.

So, how do you smoke them? Not in a joint. These incredibly sticky buds almost always clock in above 40% THC, are designed only for glass pipes and are best enjoyed by tucking a small nugget into the middle of a bong bowl of premium flower or by sprinkling some shards on top. 

The oily rocks, because they’ve been soaked in rosin, are a dark shade of brown on the inside and bubble under the flame, producing a heavy, dab-like and terpene-rich taste that made me break a sweat after the first hit. 

It was smooth, fruity and clean. And holy hell, my head vibrated. Ever scraped resin balls from a bowl? Moon rocks are just like that, but they actually taste great. I know I watched at least two hours of Netflix after polishing off a half-gram and settling into the couch, but I honestly couldn’t tell you what show was on the screen. Instead, I spent the time devouring an entire bag of potato chips and wondering whether the mind-numbing effects of the Lume rocks were actually early onset COVID-19 symptoms. It turned out I was just incredibly stoned — to the point where I felt like I had to consciously remember to breathe in and out.

All told, I don’t think I’ve been this high since college. I woke up in the morning with puffy eyes and a heavy appetite, wondering how I managed to fall asleep on the couch before midnight.

Lume — Blueberry Crumble Lightning Roll

Price — $65

THC content — 44.9%

My jaw dropped when I saw the price tag on these luxurious joints from Lume. Less than a gram for $65 is inherently insane; I recognize that. This is purely a special occasion product, a birthday joint, something you pick up when you’re trying to impress your pothead friends.

That being said: It was easily the best joint I’ve ever had the pleasure of smoking.

Much like the moon rocks, these pre-rolled joints are the trifecta of cannabis concoctions — filled with premium indica Blueberry Crumble, coated in sticky THC distillate and then rolled in a heavy layer Orange Cream kief. Together, this 0.7 gram joint tested at a whopping 44.9% THC.

Each sweet-tasting puff hit like it was from a dab rig as the distillate bubbled along the edges of the joint, leading to a slow and even burn throughout. The ash was also noticeably white — a sign of purity, showing that this harvest had been properly flushed during the cultivation process. 

Kyle Kaminski is a City Pulse staff writer and cannabis enthusiast who has been smoking marijuana just about every day for the last decade. Every week, Kaminski samples some of the best cannabis products available in Greater Lansing, gets real high and writes about them.